


Texting From London Station

by Jaune_Chat



Series: London Station [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Humor, M/M, Sexting, Sexual Humor, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-14
Updated: 2011-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-23 06:19:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaune_Chat/pseuds/Jaune_Chat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock texts Jim Kirk about a case. Doctors McCoy and Watson try to keep them from doing anything too stupid about it. Creative forms of restraint ensue!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texting From London Station

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BrighteyedJill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrighteyedJill/gifts).



_To: Captain Kirk_

What is the top speed of the USS Enterprise? Starfleet has it listed as “classified.” SH

_To: Sherlock Holmes_

For good reason. Warp 9 if we want to blow through our fuel in a few hours. 9.3 if Scotty gets time to tweak it. JTK

_To: Captain Kirk_

Admirable. So you could theoretically travel from Earth to New Vulcan in 5.6 minutes. SH

_To: Sherlock Holmes_

Theoretically. We’re not at Earth though. JTK

_To: Captain Kirk_

Obviously. You’re patrolling the Neutral Zone and haven’t seen action in three weeks. SH

_To: Sherlock Holmes_

Unless you’re counting my left hand, no. JTK

_To: Kirk_

We’ve had a modified cruiser blast out of London Station with several museum pieces aboard. Judging by their nacelle design, they should have been forced to stop for refueling and maintenance 23 hours ago. Their energy signature, however, does not match. It’s far closer to the Enterprise, and likely has a similar range. They were heading in your direction. SH

 _To: Sherlock_

I’m listening. Intently. JTK

_To: Kirk_

In order to sell the pieces, the ship is most likely to pass through the Neutral Zone to get to the nearest potential buyer. To do that, they’ll have to be quick in crossing the border. Your ship should be able to catch them, provided I give you a heads up. SH

_To: Curly-Haired Git_

Was that a challenge? JTK

_To: Over-Sexed Braggart_

Quite possibly. SH

\------------------

_To: Dr. Watson_

He’s in communication with Jim.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

I’ll try to stop him from doing something stupid.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Use force. I will.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Noted.

\-----------------

_To: Sherlock_

Sorry I didn’t get your message until this morning. Late night. Starfleet Command is a little dubious because we didn’t get a communication from London Station that this was an official alert. JTK

_To: Kirk_

Ah, I neglected to remind Scotland Yard last night. Very late. Check again. SH

_To: Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise_

London Station formally requests your assistance in the apprehension of several dangerous criminals that have fled our jurisdiction headed in your direction. File attached. –Detective Inspector Gregory Lestrade

_To: Sherlock_

Next time mention your art thieves are also murderers that include members from a rogue Romulan terrorist group. That makes Starfleet move their asses faster. JTK

_To: Kirk_

Oh, did that matter? SH

_To: Heartless Bastard_

Yes. Yes it does. JTK

_To: Over-Sensitive Twit_

If you insist. SH

\----------------

_To: Dr. McCoy_

He’s still at it. I tried. I’m rather sore.

_To: Dr. Watson_

I’m sending you a code to replicate some ointment. Use it, it helps. Personal experience.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Thank Mycroft for surplus replicator credits. That did help, thank you.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Jim has us patrolling one end of the Neutral Zone trying to catch pirates.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

My profound apologies. Sherlock was frustrated that they slipped the Docking Patrol just when he had identified them.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Tell him to not rile Jim up. All he needs is an excuse to act like a hero.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Fine. I’ll break out the special trunk.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Good idea. I’ll see what I can do to diffuse the situation on my end.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Good luck.

\----------

_To: Sherlock_

Those energy signatures you sent have my engineers in an uproar. That’s modified Starfleet tech. We’re setting algorithms to lock onto the scent now. Or maybe they already did. I’m not quite sure what time it is. JTK

_To: Kirk_

…Neither do I. Apologies for any spelling errors. Typing with one hand. SH

_To: Sherlock_

One: Why? Two: Just use voice diction. JTK

_To: Kirk_

Hate voice diction. And I’m cuffed, if you must know. SH

_To: Kinky Bastard_

Not only must I know, I must know more. JTK

_To: Likewise_

Don’t like voice diction, do occasionally like visual recording. Sending file. SH

_To: HOT DAMN_

!!!!

\-------------------

_To: Dr. Watson_

You gave Jim ideas, you fool!

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Jealous?

_To: Dr. Watson_

Bring it on.

\--------------------

_To: Sherlock_

Scotty finished the new scanning program. There are traces in two places on the border. We’re checking them now. JTK

_To: Kirk_

You’re entirely too perky at this hour. SH

_To: Sherlock_

It’s 0600 on London Station. I thought you were usually up before then. JTK

_To: Kirk_

File attached: Late Night SH

_To: Mighty Flexible_

Anything you can do, I can do better. File attached: Way Later Night JTK

_To: Could You Do That Again, So I Can Study It?_

Does one of your traces also contain tachyon particles? SH

_To: Your Mind Works In Mysterious Ways_

Yeah it does, changing course now. JTK

_To: Kirk_

Do let me know when you catch up. I’ll be asleep. SH

_To: Sherlock_

After that, you need it. JTK

\----------------

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Well, it worked. At least he’s focused. I may need to sleep for a week.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Any recommendations for a cure for an Andrian fire-water hangover? Hyposprays aren’t touching it and I can’t concentrate enough to use a database search.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

I’d try fried eggs on beans with gray salt. Also, I'd never let him drink fire-water out of your navel again.

_To: Dr. Watson_

WHAT?!

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Oh God, I actually sent that…

\-------------------

_To: Sherlock_

Location: Bridge – On course for your pirates. They’re running-. 

[CONNECTION TERMINATED DUE TO TEMPORARY LOSS OF SERVICE]

_To: Sherlock_

AND ARMED! JTK

_To: Kirk_

I believe you know they are also Romulan terrorists. Armed is included with that definition. SH

_To: Sherlock_

NOT WITH PHOTON TORPEDOES!

_To: Sherlock_

I hate you.

_To: Sherlock_

Tachyon particles!

_To: Kirk/To: Sherlock_

You could always phase-. / Phase our own phasers to their own engine emissions!

_To: Kirk/To: Sherlock_

BRILLIANT!

_To: Kirk_

It worked? SH

_To: Sherlock_

Obviously. Engines knocked out. Ship collected. Pirates captured. Art retrieved. Spock was impressed. JTK

_To: Kirk_

I’m pleased I was able to save your ship. SH

_To: Swelled Head_

My ass. JTK

_To: Lovely Invitation, But I Must Decline_

Doubtful. SH

_To: Likewise_

Whatever. I have better things to go home to. Oh, and I’m not allowed to send or receive private files to or from you. Ever again. JTK

_To: Kirk_

Also, likewise. SH

_To: Sherlock_

You have your PADD on remote, right? JTK

_To: Clever Boy_

Obviously. SH

_To: Gleeful_

Victory celebrations, ahoy! JTK

\--------------

_To: Dr. McCoy_

My apologies. I should have known better than to let Sherlock use my PADD. I could not unsee what I’d seen.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Forgiven. We have more pressing matters.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Do tell.

_To: Dr. Watson_

I’m out of clever ideas. 

_To: Dr. McCoy_

We could swap trunks.

_To: Dr. Watson_

That’s a horrible idea. I’m a doctor, not a sex fiend. It’ll only give Jim more ideas.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Tell that to someone who hasn’t seen you wearing that leather outfit. And you’ve inadvertently given Sherlock ideas too.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Jim had it custom-tailored as a birthday gift!

_To: Dr. McCoy_

I know. I want the tailor’s name.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Maybe we _should_ swap trunks instead.

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Quickly. Before Sherlock get bored again.

_To: Dr. Watson_

It’ll be on the next shuttle. 

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Thank you for the initial warning, by the way. I’m putting an alert on Sherlock’s PADD if he tries to contact Captain Kirk again.

_To: Dr. Watson_

Anytime. We’d better keep in touch in case this happens again. 

_To: Dr. McCoy_

Agreed. I could use some commiseration.

_To: Dr. Watson_

And some extra videos! JTK

_To: Dr. Watson_

Damn it Jim, stop hacking my PADD!


End file.
